Moving on like the movies.

Last night he told me things . . we discussed our end again. We talked about him moving out of town. Now it feels official - the relationship we expressed is officially no longer. Unfortunatley I was sort of drunk when we discussed this so I revealed to him that I knew about him and Jeremy. I told him that I'm still in love with him and how every day is HELL to wake up knowing that he's moved on and that he'll be leaving town for good. All the sweet beginnings keep returning to me. On memorial day will be the day we first kissed - I just can't get over this shit . . . it's coming back to me; these memories and when I think about them I feel the same excitement of the day after our first kiss. Wanting to see him again, to kiss him again. And now it's over - it's all over. Our bond may not be broken - but the romance is over. The marriage is over. It's over. And it hurts more than before and it's scary and I feel like the pain is coming back. Some day soon he will be gone and I won't be able to laugh with him and I will be forced to move on. I don't want to move on. I like loving you.