Lonliness is hard to deal with. Every morning I've been waking up to a ghost of a former boyfriend that is no longer there. I walk through the rooms with past conversations in my mind which never got the chance to complete. I sometimes pretend that he's still there - I still love him. But that love has to fade because he's moving on and I don't want to stand around waiting. Every time that I see him, I know he's moving on and it makes me angry. For I know he's denying his feelings and he's lying to the both of us. But he owes me nothing now - and I am still looking for that connection with him. I am still hoping that my best friend will come to bed with me, I am still wishing for his lips to touch my own again. But we both know that it's not going to happen. For he's made a choice and I have no choice in return but to follow. And so I must move on. And so I must destroy the happy memories, and so I must murder the baby. I have to in order to sacrifice the lie that we shall soon return to the way we were. No more fights, no more cry. Simply I wish for love, simply I long for intimacy, simply I choose to remain in love. I don't want to be that "one" who hangs on to a ghost, a shell .... nobody lives here anymore, the passion, the music, the love, the happiness; all of that escaped before the party even started. God bless our once strong union - this divorce has taken a piece of me and torn it apart.
No comments:
Post a Comment